H I A T U S

The Internet should be up by tomorrow (if not, I might give Primus another call, but oh god there's already about 200 pages of reading to do so I might not). In any case though, I'll probably be scarce like summer in Canada for a little while as I catch back up to the third year and work-study hunting and figuring out wtf I'm going to do for that independent research project I want to undertake in China next summer. In other words, I'll be busy busy but not necessarily in a bad way.

Hopefully, I won't have to drop at C&C, but in the end, life comes first. (And anyway, even if I do drop, it'll probably only be Heero, who is disproportionately draining considering his levels of CR; he just tends to get involved in long srs plots which I cannot find the energy or the time to play out and that's extremely unfair to the other players. :| We'll see; I do adore the castmates there though.)

tl;dr, going to dive into RL for a while, wish me luck. I'll miss you guys, but I'll talk to some of you on AIM no doubt and I'll probably cave before long.

&hearts


On a totally irrelevant note, I am amused that "busy" and "working" icons for my moodtheme are both of Destiny and his book. XD

Invisibility cloaks, time travel, teleportation, oh my.

I want to live long enough to see at least one of the things on that list.

187 chapters.

1 day and a half.

I'm not sure if this is a new record for me or not.


oh my gooooooooooooood and all because I wanted to play road somewhere. alksdjfalkjsdf

Mom'll be home in about three hours, and I have to move in exactly a week. This weekend will be spent taking apart all the furniture and packing. Good news: Primus called today and they are waiving the $55 moving fee. Who says blackmail doesn't work?

Just woke up from one of the weirdest series of dreams I've ever had.

In the first, I was just reading an email from the prof that I played research assistant to last year. He had promised to email me near the end of August/early September and while I wasn't really expecting to hear from him until September at the earliest, I guess my unconscious latched on harder than I thought. So, in the dream, I'm just reading the damn email and it's telling me all these stressful things like how he'd emailed me once before, and that I needed to write up a formal application for funding and submit it this week, and he -- oh god it was like an essay-- he spent pages and pages telling me that he wasn't doing anymore of the China aspect (there never was a China aspect to his research in the first place so :|) of the Russia-Europe historical narrative. I mean. I guess it was kind of impressive, since the email actually went on in fair detail about how the group had decided to focus on the evolving relationship between Russia and the EU nations, etc etc. Of course, this has nothing to do with the real topic of his research, but anyway. I woke up all stressed and alsdjfadjfskoie. Whoever said you couldn't read in dreams because that employed the left brain hemisphere and dreaming employed the right was wrong.

Then, I go back to sleep, because I was still exhausted and mentally o___________o. Oh me. Hoping my inner mind would not be quite as screwed up as to give me another strangely-coherent dream that made no sense whatsoever really. In Act Two today, we have me back in high school, trying to persuade the new principal and two relevant (though non-existent) teachers that keeping me and this other girl on as student interns was a good idea and in all of their best interests. It was like a mixture of blackmail and manipulation. I actually got the principal to call the Board director and ask if, despite the recession, they could keep two interns around. The answer was "no" (duh) and then I was like, "Hmm, Westdale is really going downhill". One of the teachers was like, "We're not supposed to say that," and me all, "Well, I don't go here anymore, so."

Apparently, no one had gotten the memo that I'd graduated 2 years ago. ... yeah, I don't know. Subconscious!me is a manipulative, selfish, vindictive bitch is what this dream is telling me, I guess. ORZ

Whatever.

I went to Toronto to see Ponyo with friends yesterday, which was adorable in animation, but only ... rather odd and confusing plotwise.

( and Japan continues its favourite obsession with underage romances )

One more thing! I got my Coraline earrings in the mail on Saturday! They are alskdjfalskdf I love them. *___*

( pics or it didn't happen? )

Right, okay. In the time it's taken me to write up this entry, I need to go prepare lunch now.

Mom will be back by tomorrow evening, though, so /o/

I would sit and contemplate the irony of anon calling people two-faced, but it's probably not worth my time.

This is not about me, but things don't have to be about me to make me sadface.

Yeah, that's all.

&hearts to the entire flist. Even if we don't talk much anymore, we originally became friends for a reason, and I haven't forgotten.

❝ Reciprocity is the name of the game.❞

Just a random thought that came to mind as I was drifting off to sleep last night. It's here because, well, it's a good thing to keep in mind, isn't it? We reap what kindness we sow, etc.

Fire and stars.

Thus, unsurprisingly, the highlight of my camping trip was when I was sitting in front of a crackling bonfire and I could look up to a night sky full of stars. Not a sight I get to indulge in very often in the city.

A close second was when we went to the beach the second night in the evening and stayed until about 10 pm. I'm not terribly fond of the beach as a rule, but now I know what I'm doing wrong; I've been going at the wrong time of day. During the day, idk it's never been that impressive to me, especially if it's crowded and noisy and scattered with litter with the blazing sun scorching down on me. At night, however, it's beautiful and I just pretty much lay there for an hour on the sand and watched as the stars came out to play. Breathtaking only begins to describe how nice it was to have the breeze skim over me and the Milky Way twinkling above. The sand that constantly settled onto my face was only a minor blip in how awesome the experience was. I must do it more often, and hopefully I shall be able to see the stars on the beaches in Toronto too.

While we were leaving, because there was some lightning rolling in the distance, we saw a shooting star. It was the first shooting star I've ever seen, and it was amazing; it lasted for almost ten seconds and you could actually see it arc and then burn itself out as it went from white-blueish to orangey before fading out. All those poems waxing lyrical about the cosmic connection you feel when you see stars etc etc start to make more sense when you actually see them for yourself. If I ever left the city, I would miss a heck of a lot, and I don't think I could ever do it, but the promise of stars and clear skies make it very tempting sometimes.

Apart from that, there are always sometimes-hilarious, sometimes-groanworthy stories to be had when parents gather together. There was a healthy mixture of both this time, but more of the former including one story about how one dad was tricked by his friends into pissing off a fire ant and bitten. He then encouraged his own small son to do the same thing. Oh Chinese parents. Lessons must be learned the hard way, and all. XD;;

I shall attempt pictures tomorrow, but suffice to say the trip went better than I'd expected and I only got three bites! This is a record. There was also rock-climbing done. |Db

Moving in about two weeks, which I'm anticipating with a mixture of excitement, apprehension, and apathy.

Which, coincidentally, pretty much describes my general feelings toward RP right now. Not sure if it's just the characters whose voices I'm not that compatible with, or just that I'm burning out. I've always had a bit of a commitment phobia, and I'm wary about vesting too much of myself in something. Maybe it's just that. Unfortunately, that's something I don't know how to rectify. We'll see. Thinking of throwing Kaku out for another test drive.

/re-reads more Secret Six

Right so, I phoned the OSAP people this morning and wow, hello counsellor, do you always sound so grumpy? "Ooookay?" is not the best way to reassure a potentially panicked and screwed student that he/she will be okay with your shining guidance. Really. Just sayin'.

Still, I can forgive that. Apparently, my application was reassessed twice over the course of two days (honestly, do they just not have enough to do or something?) and I only got the earlier "hello, you're fucked" report. My funding's okay for now, just like the website says. Thank whatever gods there are.

The rest of the day shall be spent see-sawing between taking care of a cute, but demanding little girl, packing for camping, and laying out preparations for dinner. You don't appreciate how much your mom does until she's thousands of miles away in China for a month, and the entire house is running sort of on halfs: halfish meals (my dad can still cook worth his salt, at least), half-assed cleaning (none of us like cleaning D:), half-assed laundry, etc.

And that waiting list for that history seminar class? The turnover rate would have to be 200+% for me to make it. lol, I SHALL HOLD OUT HOPE REGARDLESS. :|

Rereading Sandman: Endless Nights is surprisingly useful for regaining some perspective, particularly regarding Despair and Destiny's pieces. I think the former was especially well done, in terms of art and story and organization. Besides, I like the glimpse into one of the Endless that we don't really see that often in the main series, and you just remember why she's the twin of Desire and that she is an Endless in and of herself. Every single one of the short stories was beautifully crafted; personally, I think it displays Gaiman at his storytelling best.

This actually does have a point, and that point is vaguely two-fold. 1) that I'm reminded that ups and downs are a natural part of life; there are concepts ("emotions" is too flimsy a term for them) that are Endless and cyclical and they're not actually bad; they just are. Doesn't mean we have to take them lying down, but it's okay to be lost sometimes. A map would be nice, but like Rae says, it would always be nice if.

2) that, what the hell, it's not quite so bad. I finished reading it, and then -- I give you all permission to point and laugh at me for this -- I went and wrote up a short list of things that made me happy. Topping it was my fountain pens, which I just refilled yesterday before coming back to Hamilton, and finishing it off was my gorgeous new layout. I'm pretty visual that way, I guess; I like seeing pretty things and they make me happy. More than that, if I see change, even superficial change, in my life (even something so simple as a layout change), it pleases me and tricks me into thinking that I'm on my way and gives me that momentum to actually start making some more tangible changes.

Yes, I take life lessons from comic books.

I'm a simple creature.

And then I made another promise to myself: RP is, and should always be, just for fun. As soon as I start to take it too seriously, I'm going to stop. As soon as it starts being more hassle/stress than fun, I'm going to stop. I won't spend hours staring at my screen, second-guessing myself and worrying about whether I'm writing a fictional character in a surreal situation to everyone's satisfaction. I fully expect this to be easier to say and write than it will be to do, but hey, like I said, I like seeing things 'in the flesh' so to speak. It makes it a little more real to me.

&hearts

Mmmn, and a family friend just bought a new house, and the last owner left everything behind. Including a complete boxset of Gundam Wing DVDs, which she is looking to sell. That definitely made it onto my happy!list. I shall have to make her watch it before I buy it though, because she has never seen it and this must be rectified. Like, now.

It's been thunderstorming on and off for about a week now. Normally I enjoy thunderstorms, provided that I'm somewhere inside of course. But I like the flashes of lightning, and I like the rumble of thunder that you can feel in the hollow of your chest.

What I don't find quite so appealing is the fact that 11:30 am feel like 9 pm because it's so incredibly dark outside. Also that I can't go out to buy my dinner, because I almost never cook while studying.

Non-relatedly, I'm moving out at the end of the month to a new apartment with Julia. I'm excited, but it seems that every time I move, I always get these strange, anxious dreams about the place: either that we suddenly can't move into it, or it's in a weird location, or that-- get this-- the front door is nothing more than a slab of dry wall with about ten locks on it. I just ... don't even know. I'm sure Freud would have had a field day with me. Personally, I'm a little less than amused. It'd be nice to just be excited about something without inviting these weird, Alice-in-Wonderland-esque dreams that leave me feeling mildly discomforted for the entire day.

-- oh wow, that was a loud thunderclap. I hope the electricity doesn't cut out. I like it better when it rumbles and rolls.

Well, I should go clean my room now. Do something productive for a study break instead of mulling over tags and posts. :/

ONE ♡ I am in Starbucks. Whee, haven't been here in ages, but I was too apathetic to trudge down to that other independent cafe so corporate whore it is.

TWO ♡ Kuroki Meisa is still extremely hot. Not that this is news exactly, but *___*

THREE ♡ I have about 500 words left to write for the Ripper paper, so essentially my conclusion. I think more could still be added about sexuality though, so maybe more like 800 words. Still, the end is in sight and it's not even two in the morning. Excellent.

FOUR ♡ Free Internet @ Starbucks now! Or, well, two hours of it, which is more than enough for me.

FIVE ♡ Hello, world, how are you all doing?

... so it looks like we're speaking again. Good enough for me.

Right, so drowning in working through St. Lucia 1855, and then going on to Trinidad, Tobago, and Virgin Islands 1837-49+55. Clearly me actually doing work means that, in order for my universe to achieve the proper cosmic balance, I must also find a way to procrastinate. Thus, I present to you this meme:

Give me any fandom and I shall tell you my top 3 pairings, along with a brief reason why.

Provided that I know the fandom, of course. Unless you want me to just google it and pick the top three based on how good the characters look together, in why case, OKAY.

My ideal wedding location ffffffffffffff

So a friend once said to me, "idc who it is, if someone proposes to me with a Cartier ring, I'd say yes."

WELL THIS IS MY CARTIER RING. asjdfklajslkdjf;alskdjflkajsldkf

Well, hey, this is interesting.

what I got out of it:
→ $2 trillion is a psychotic amount of money.
→ I can't wait to see Rep. reactions to this.
→ The comments are much more interesting than the post itself.
→ China is apparently America's drug dealer :|

Thoughts~?

Well, more like a stream of consciousness. I had my Notepad open and basically ... typed as I watched. Why did it take me so long to watch this movie?

( SPOILERS. MASSIVE SPOILERS. ... SRSLY SPOILERS YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. )

The thing that you should have taken away from all that nonsensical babbling is this: I want my makeout scene, GDI.

/mopes

Now I'm going to hunt for fic or something.

Today, I tallied up my potential exam score to 60% instead of 80-odd% for the first time.

Today, I seriously considered writing "idfk" as a test answer. Or leaving it blank, but that's less exciting.

Today, I probably just barely passed my psyche term test.


But it's okay because I'm taking it pass/fail anyway. 8Db

DC OVA9 HAS JUST FINISHED TORRENTING. IT IS LOCKED AND LOADED ON WINDOWS MEDIA AS I TYPE asdkfja

THOUGHTS TO BE EDITED IN LATER aaaaaaaaaaaa

( edit & cut for spoilers )

Despite high expectations, I was/am quite unimpressed with Secret Six 11. I hope this is all some weird mindfuck twist that will get explained and ironed out, because honestly honestly starting to border on love is over. X|

Most of this has to do with unexpected team dynamics shifts (lol, spoiler that's not a spoiler, yay), but why Wonder Woman of all heroes? /siiiiiiiiighs


/packs for weekend cabin trip ._.

At a wonderful, charming little tea cafe right now mooching off their free wifi. Been here for the last two hours, sipping tea and making aggravated faces at my laptop screen trying to figure out wtf the writing in these photos say (re: trade/economy/population of Barbaros in 1840s aksjdfasdf). As if looking at bad scans weren't enough, now I have to look at bad photos of handwriting. It's a good thing I decided to come here to work or I would have imploded by now.

Anyways, taking a break. For my eyes, as well as for my sanity. I've been on the biggest GW kick I've had for a few years now, but that series will never ever ever get old. ilit with all my obsessive little fangirl heart. Marathoned the entire series and the movie in the last two days and I plan on repeating that with my roommates again sometime within the next two weeks. *__* Reserved Heero over at capeandcowl as a result of this, and alsjdf I am excited but also kind of >__> because it's been over three years since I last played him. At least I have about two weeks to get my thoughts together (and write that app, orz). Still waiting to hear back about my entirely-spur-of-the-moment Raven app over at thewake_rp.

Right, so that's it. /sips more Darjeeling

/people-watches creepily for a while.